The night David Sedaris made me stop drinking coffee

April 6, 2012 § 2 Comments

A few nights ago, I was lying awake at 3 a.m. for the umpteenth night in a row, re-reading my favorite David Sedaris book, “Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim,” and I came across the few pages where David details his mother’s addiction to coffee and her reliance on late-night infomercials to entertain herself when she wasn’t sleeping. She passed this erratic behavior onto her children who would stay up with her for hours and were never forced to go to bed like the rest of the suburban drones on their block. As I was reading, nothing was making much sense and my rational side had fallen asleep allowing my irrational side to take over.

My thought process went something like this until I eventually tired myself to sleep:

“IF I DON’T STOP DRINKING SO MUCH COFFEE I’M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT.”

“THEN I’M GOING TO HAVE TO START WATCHING INFOMERCIALS.”

“OMG. MY KIDS ARE GOING TO BE LIKE DAVID SEDARIS.”

“OR WORSE. AMY SEDARIS.”

Any David Sedaris fans out there? Anyone? I am fairly certain no one else other than my father and maybe two of my friends will fully understand this fear. But alas, as nifty and funny as David and Amy are, I don’t want Sedaris-like children and must reign in my addiction to the black magic.

Before I give up the gold, I thought I’d share my very favorite coffee shops in Austin. I make my own coffee at home these days, but still frequent these hot spots (get it?! Coffee is hot!) all the time. Speaking of at-home coffee, I recommend picking up a bag of Cuvee coffee from Whole Foods or Café Medici. This stuff is so smooth you’ll never go back to Folger’s. Ever. Even if you’re broke and should really not spend $10 on a small bag of coffee, you’ll give up lunch AND new shoes for it.

It might just be because I grew up watching Gilmore Girls where Lorelei was obsessed with Luke’s coffee and I associate romance with diner coffee, but I really can’t get enough of unlimited coffee in a chipped mug from one of my favorite brunch spots. Bouldin Creek Coffee House, The Omelettry and Magnolia Café all offer a plain and simple, comfortable cup o’ Joe. I’m bound to burn my tongue on the first sip and drink at least eight cups while I’m enjoying my pancakes, but that stuff is good.

Working long hours at a desk job is really what created the coffee monster inside of me and there are a few places within a five-minute walk of my office that I visit in emergency situations. While Texenza is closest, it’s really not where you should be getting your coffee. They make an okay Americano, but their plain coffee cannot be trusted. I’ve heard they make good fancy drinks, but that’s not my style. If you’re in the area, take the extra five minutes and walk to the adorable little coffee truck, Patika. The nicest boys ever work there and they make the best coffee in the whole world. They use Cuvee coffee, but they also are just perfectionists and excellent baristas. And the coffee is strong. Thank goodness. If Patika is busy or closed, walk across the street to Café Medici. They also use Cuvee and have fancy, pretty machines. That doesn’t necessarily make for good coffee, but sometimes it’s nice to feel like you are a classy professional woman who drinks coffee from high-end establishments.

Because breakfast tacos are probably second on my list of essential things to my happiness, I frequent Taco Shack and Torchy’s at least once a week. They make a mean taco, but their coffee isn’t too shabby either. And you kill two birds with one stone. Or two vices with one debit card. However you want to look at it.

For now, I’m attempting to limit myself to one cup a day in hopes that my future children will have a fighting chance. Enjoy your coffee and drink responsibly.

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§ 2 Responses to The night David Sedaris made me stop drinking coffee

  • I understand your sentiments about both David Sedaris and coffee. For one, I wouldn’t want my kid growing up to be a Christmas elf at Macy’s.

    I tried “quitting” coffee about a year and a half ago and was successful for about 5 months. I drank a lot of tea, but then I starting getting back into coffee slowly. First, I had an occasional iced coffee, then I started getting fancy coffee drinks that barely had any espresso, so I didn’t really count them as “coffee”. I finally caved, though. I’m back to my old ways of a cup every morning followed by another before lunch and sometimes another in the afternoon. Luckily, I don’t have any problems falling asleep…yet.

    I definitely need to try this Cuvee coffee. Right now, I’m hooked on the Texas Pecan blend from Whole Foods.

  • kwiley says:

    Oooh I’ll have to try the Texas Pecan blend! That sounds delicious. And yes, tea is a nice substitute, but it’s so mild and calming. Sometimes the opposite of what we need!

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