Let’s do this, New Year’s Eve

December 27, 2011 § Leave a comment

Let’s do this, New Year’s Eve, because you’re coming whether we like it or not.

One of my earliest posts described last year’s New Year’s Eve at Momo’s. While lovely and romantic, it was tame, veering on boring.

This year, however, I’ll be dancing at the Big Freedia and Turquoise Jeep show at the Mohawk (we’re still debating if Freedia is pronounced “Free-dee-ah” or “Free-dah”). I must credit these fabulous plans to my dear friend and semi-colleague, Michael, who persuaded our group to attend this eyebrow-raising evening of fun. We were all a little skeptical at first until he told us that Big Freedia championed the “sissy bounce” movement.*

*We’re actually still a little skeptical, but Michael’s never led us astray before.

I’m also pumped that the show is at the Mohawk, my very favorite venue in Austin. Aside from the obvious outstanding features, they also let me in as a wee little 20-year-old and I will forever thank them for that. At an awkward stage in my life where every single person I hung out with could drink, the Mohawk welcomed me with open arms and a difficult to wash off stamp.

My friend Charlie and I saw lots and lots of shows there throughout our junior year of college. Kid Sister was probably my favorite, mostly due to the appearance of a few sloppy shufflers* and Hipster Jesus.*

*A sloppy shuffler is a woman between her mid-twenties and early forties who sloppily shuffles around herself while shaking her head back and forth and simultaneously staring at the floor. She is usually accompanied by an equally drunk, slightly chubbier friend who chooses to laugh and curse loudly instead of shuffling.

*Hipster Jesus is a tween who has all of the charming characteristics of a hipster, paired with a handsome Jesus-cut. Charlie and I once saw Hipster Jesus three times in an eight-hour period.

If “Sissy Bounce” isn’t your thing (why not, you weirdo?), take a look-see at these other New Year’s Eve gems:

T. Bird and the Breaks at Stubb’s – This band is really, really awesome and while they play in Austin all the time, New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to introduce yourself to this unique band of miscreants. Stubb’s is a nice venue and there’s a complimentary BBQ buffet and champagne.

The Big Bang: Glitoris Masquerade and Barbarella Bash – Head out to Swan Dive and Barbarella for one dance and sweat filled evening. Those of you who know me at all, know that Barbarella is my place. If I had my way, we’d be there every weekend. In reality, I talk someone into trekking it out to 7th street about once every six months. I even made a treadmill playlist with Robyn, LCD Soundsystem and other Barbarella classics to remind myself of those glorious moments when I can dance like no one is watching, in public. You’re sure to have fun, unless you’re a straight male, and you’ll most likely find some handsome hipster to kiss at midnight.

The Apartment New Year’s Eve Feast at Alamo Drafthouse – I recommend this option if you’re in a relationship. You’ll leave the theater feeling overwhelmingly stuffed and won’t want to do anything but go home and snuggle on the couch with your significant other and watch the ball drop on TV. Don’t get me wrong, this sounds fun and if I had kids or something, this would be a lovely way to spend NYE.

New Year’s Eve Improv Style – Because I’m a big fan of improv and because jokes about 2011 politics and pop stars already have me rolling on the floor (it doesn’t take much to make me giggle), I recommend ringing in the New Year with the Hideout Theatre crew. I love me some Esther’s Follies, but they’re already sold out.

If none of these options strike your fancy, you can peruse Do512 and see what Kung Foo Saloon and other bars have planned.

And now time for my special New Year’s Eve PSA:

Girls, do NOT kiss a random boy at midnight. I know he might look cute enough in those lonely few minutes before the clock strikes twelve, but he probably has a receding hairline and bad teeth. Don’t let his plaid shirt fool you.

Happy New Year’s!




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