Let’s do this, New Year’s Eve

December 27, 2011 § Leave a comment

Let’s do this, New Year’s Eve, because you’re coming whether we like it or not.

One of my earliest posts described last year’s New Year’s Eve at Momo’s. While lovely and romantic, it was tame, veering on boring.

This year, however, I’ll be dancing at the Big Freedia and Turquoise Jeep show at the Mohawk (we’re still debating if Freedia is pronounced “Free-dee-ah” or “Free-dah”). I must credit these fabulous plans to my dear friend and semi-colleague, Michael, who persuaded our group to attend this eyebrow-raising evening of fun. We were all a little skeptical at first until he told us that Big Freedia championed the “sissy bounce” movement.*

*We’re actually still a little skeptical, but Michael’s never led us astray before.

I’m also pumped that the show is at the Mohawk, my very favorite venue in Austin. Aside from the obvious outstanding features, they also let me in as a wee little 20-year-old and I will forever thank them for that. At an awkward stage in my life where every single person I hung out with could drink, the Mohawk welcomed me with open arms and a difficult to wash off stamp.

My friend Charlie and I saw lots and lots of shows there throughout our junior year of college. Kid Sister was probably my favorite, mostly due to the appearance of a few sloppy shufflers* and Hipster Jesus.*

*A sloppy shuffler is a woman between her mid-twenties and early forties who sloppily shuffles around herself while shaking her head back and forth and simultaneously staring at the floor. She is usually accompanied by an equally drunk, slightly chubbier friend who chooses to laugh and curse loudly instead of shuffling.

*Hipster Jesus is a tween who has all of the charming characteristics of a hipster, paired with a handsome Jesus-cut. Charlie and I once saw Hipster Jesus three times in an eight-hour period.

If “Sissy Bounce” isn’t your thing (why not, you weirdo?), take a look-see at these other New Year’s Eve gems:

T. Bird and the Breaks at Stubb’s – This band is really, really awesome and while they play in Austin all the time, New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to introduce yourself to this unique band of miscreants. Stubb’s is a nice venue and there’s a complimentary BBQ buffet and champagne.

The Big Bang: Glitoris Masquerade and Barbarella Bash – Head out to Swan Dive and Barbarella for one dance and sweat filled evening. Those of you who know me at all, know that Barbarella is my place. If I had my way, we’d be there every weekend. In reality, I talk someone into trekking it out to 7th street about once every six months. I even made a treadmill playlist with Robyn, LCD Soundsystem and other Barbarella classics to remind myself of those glorious moments when I can dance like no one is watching, in public. You’re sure to have fun, unless you’re a straight male, and you’ll most likely find some handsome hipster to kiss at midnight.

The Apartment New Year’s Eve Feast at Alamo Drafthouse – I recommend this option if you’re in a relationship. You’ll leave the theater feeling overwhelmingly stuffed and won’t want to do anything but go home and snuggle on the couch with your significant other and watch the ball drop on TV. Don’t get me wrong, this sounds fun and if I had kids or something, this would be a lovely way to spend NYE.

New Year’s Eve Improv Style – Because I’m a big fan of improv and because jokes about 2011 politics and pop stars already have me rolling on the floor (it doesn’t take much to make me giggle), I recommend ringing in the New Year with the Hideout Theatre crew. I love me some Esther’s Follies, but they’re already sold out.

If none of these options strike your fancy, you can peruse Do512 and see what Kung Foo Saloon and other bars have planned.

And now time for my special New Year’s Eve PSA:

Girls, do NOT kiss a random boy at midnight. I know he might look cute enough in those lonely few minutes before the clock strikes twelve, but he probably has a receding hairline and bad teeth. Don’t let his plaid shirt fool you.

Happy New Year’s!

xoxo

Kristen

Don’t go see Young Adult. Don’t do it.

December 18, 2011 § Leave a comment

These posts are mostly positive because I enjoy writing about things that I like and things that I think you would enjoy trying. However, with this post I’m making an exception to tell you why you should not go see Young Adult.

It. was. so. depressing.

Maybe it’s because I’m currently a “young adult” and because I live in a “big city,” but this movie hit a little too close to home. No, I’m not pining away for my high school boyfriend. And no I don’t fall asleep with a bottle of tequila and pint of ice cream, but I did leave my little suburban town to move on to bigger and better things.

Most of my friends have made cracks about the people from high school/college who got married at 20 and have already popped out two kids. Young Adult left me confused about whether I was supposed to feel for Charlize Theron’s character (Mavis Gary) or side with these suburbanites.

With Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman involved, I expected witty banter, complex characters and unique perspectives. Instead, we got a boring, steady plot that didn’t ever pick up. It was full of awkward moments that made you want to close your eyes because you just felt sorry for everyone involved. At one point, one of the characters plays in a band called, “Nipple Confusion,” with a group of homely older women trying to make their lives as new mothers more fulfilling. This could have been a moment for humor, but it wasn’t funny or cute.

The story focuses on Mavis Gary, an author of a failing young adult book series. One morning after a night of drinking, she wakes up to an announcement from her high school sweetheart, Buddy Slade (Patrick Wilson), that he had a baby with his wife, Beth (Elizabeth Reaser). After a few days of obsessing, she leaves her one-night stand and drives to her old hometown of Mercury, to steal Buddy away from Beth.

I will say that they painted an accurate picture of small suburban towns. Watching Mavis pass a Staples, Burger King and other chains, felt just like what I see every time I drive home. Kudos to the art director and cinematographer.

Save your $10 for something that will fill you with the Christmas spirit and put you in a good mood. Thank goodness for the Shiner Cheer I sipped throughout. It was the only happy thing about that movie.

The Busy Girl’s Christmas Gift Guide

December 17, 2011 § Leave a comment

According to network television and the lights on every house in my neighborhood, Christmas is quickly approaching and we’re up to the wire for present shopping. Don’t panic! Christmas comes every year and we always pull it off.

SO, what do you do if getting to the mall is a joke (unless you need heels STAT) and you don’t want to look at a computer screen for more than five seconds once you’re done working?

You hire a personal shopper! Obviously.*

*I’d be all over hiring a personal shopper if my bank account could handle it.

No, but really, here are a few ideas for a quick gift on the fly that everyone will love:

1. Alamo Drafthouse gift card tucked into a lovely Drafthouse pint glass – it’s fun, everyone loves Drafthouse and everyone loves pint glasses even more. This is my pick for a work holiday party or a friend gift exchange. Right now, for every $50 that you spend in gift cards, you get a $10 food voucher.

2. Birch Box – Birch box is a service that mails you a gorgeous box every month filled with 4-5 high end beauty product samples. It’s $10 a month and if there’s a sample that you love, you can go on their site and purchase the full-sized version. I love getting this in the mail every month and look forward to the surprise. Sent my best friend a subscription for her birthday and she loves it.

3. Mani/Pedi Gift Card – You’re probably visiting your salon anyways to get your nails did for holiday parties, so pick up a mani/pedi gift card while you’re there. Pair it with some OPI polish from H-E-B and you’re good to go.

4. Cooking classes from Whole Foods – I’d like this and I don’t even cook!

5. Books! – From Book People of course. I recommend THIS book for your single friends who you spend more time consoling and drinking with than is probably healthy. It’s called I Don’t Care About Your Band and it’s by Julie Klausner. I laughed, I cried. It’s essential for anyone dating hipsters, musicians or men in general.

6. Adorable owl mugs from West Elm – “Owls are the new cats.” Is what our intern told us when I won this present in our White Elephant gift exchange. Swing by on your way home from work (easy if you work downtown).

7. Classes from Ballet Austin – Buy your fitness-loving friend a class card and she can work out to her heart’s content. In addition to ballet, jazz, modern and hip hop, they’re offering Zumba and Turbo Kick in 2012.

8. Tickets to David Sedaris – For the fatherly figure in your life (or the old man that you’re dating), pick up tickets to see David Sedaris in Austin on April 23. P.S. David Sedaris is awesome and you should educate your friends if they don’t know who he is.

9. A Roku Box – This is the best present I’ve ever received from an ex. And that’s saying a lot, considering the pretty earrings and other stuff the men who once occupied my time picked out for me. You can order it on Amazon HERE and if you’re a genius and you have Amazon Prime, you’ll be good to go. It’s a little tiny box that lets you watch Hulu Plus, Netflix and other wonderful things.

10. A bottle of Muscat Canelli from Driftwood – Pick up a bottle of this at Specs and your white wine lovin’ friend will think it’s super great that it came from a local-ish vineyard.

Merry Merry Christmas!!

Oh hello blog. And shout out to Moonshine

December 10, 2011 § Leave a comment

Instead of making a New Year’s resolution to write more often, I’m making a Christmas resolution so maybe I’ll actually stick to it. Plus New Year’s resolutions are overrated and I’m over that holiday. (See post about how I usually end up crying. Thank you expectations).

Moving back to Christmas, a holiday that I love more than cheese. Last night, we had our little company holiday party at Moonshine. It was fabulous and the food was just heaven. After drinking champagne all night long, I wish I had eaten more of the three course meal. Instead, I ate four bites of my steak and a bite of my date’s chicken. Socialization apparently took priority over the incredible food in front of me.

The steak was SO GOOD. SO SO GOOD. You should order it. (But only if someone else is paying). The Chicken dish (not on their regular menu) was covered in some fantastic sauce that was interesting for about three seconds until I accidentally forgot it was in front of me.

My best friend and I go to Moonshine all the time and order the Green Chile Macaroni every single time. It’s sad really. But we love it so we stick to our guns and refuse to even look at the menu. It’s probably my favorite restaurant in Austin and my favorite place for special evenings. We took my whole family for graduation and everyone loved it. My four-year-old cousin had a blast running in circles around the dining room, but Moonshine didn’t kick us out! So props to them for being kid-friendly! Usually I forget that kids live in Austin. I’m like, “Who is this child and where did they come from?” But if you have kids, you can take them to Moonshine and it’s just as kid-friendly as Chili’s.

Next time you’re having a big party, consider Moonshine. They really know what they’re doing and will make you feel fancy without a bit of stuffiness.

Happy holiday party week! Drink responsibly.

Oh and here’s my lovely date. What a catch.

xoxo

Kristen

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